Being legally and physically separated from my husband and not divorced puts me in a special state of limbo. My husband of 28 years left 2 years ago leaving me free to start dating. I am completely upfront about my marital status on my online dating profile as well as when I meet someone new. Neither I or the men I meet are clear about what kind of end game we are headed into when we start dating. I clearly can’t get married unless I proceed to divorce which has been something I am trying to avoid for many reasons. Most of us in our fifties have pretty deeply established roots as far as where we live so moving in together would take a big upheaval on someone’s part. So, we date.
I am on good terms with my husband. We’ve known each other since we were teens so there is a long history. I suppose this could appear to be a threat to any new relationship partner. I guess there is ALWAYS the possibility that we could reconcile, but at this juncture it seems unlikely. I try to never say never.
I met a man online last year who quickly asked over the phone before we even met why he should go out with me if I’m only going to break his heart. I thought this was presumptous. This affair didn’t amount to much more than a lot of texting, a lunch date, and a “date for drinks” at his place at 9:00 PM which anyone but me knows is just a booty call. He texted me the next day that I was not what he was looking for. Who broke his heart??
I’ve been seeing Rex now for about four months, and lately he likes to comment on what a good wife I am. I went to his place after attending the memorial service for my in laws with my husband and his family. I’m such a good wife. He says, “I’m so lucky”. Sure, we just play house but I am the wife in the game, and a damn good one at that.