You Don’t Get To Have Them

The ups and downs of being a custodial parent of adult children

Our sons were 15 and 17 years old when my husband moved into our vacation home nearly four years ago. You could say I got custody of the kids since they live with me, but they aren’t kids anymore. They are grown men with full lives of their own. They are self sufficient, but not enough so to move out and live on their own. We try to share the responsibilities of housekeeping in addition to sharing space which is a major challenge for all of us. I am handicapped, and they are turning 20 and 22 years old next month.

It has been frustrating to try to get two young men to cooperate with me as far as keeping the house in some semblance of order. They resent the fact that their mother is disabled and requires more help than most as I am physically incapable of doing simple things like taking out the garbage. I know it’s common for guys their age to resist doing housework. They pay token rent and enjoy the utilities, food and household supplies that are included. They are not able to afford the rents that are charged in the vicinity near their jobs so there is not a bigger better deal available. We are stuck with each other for now.

When I am cleaning up the mess in my kitchen for the seventh time in a day, or wake up to find a group of young people…