Research on the topic of female intuition is quite mixed. As in many scientific fields, studies can be conducted in such a way as to prove or disprove a theory depending on the researcher’s bias.
This is one example:
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Both studies shown above could be dubbed “fuzzy research.” There are nearly equal studies that “prove” this is not a real phenomenon:
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I firmly believe this is a real phenomenon based on my own experience as a woman who seems to have a definite sixth sense about people.
I was certain about a woman I met 18 years ago. I thought she was a phony and a user. I just got that vibe. My husband absolutely did not pick up on it. He became really good friends with her; even allowing her to stay by herself in our vacation home for a few weeks in the summer. She was using us. It was crystal clear to me. She also took advantage of an elderly neighbor in our lake community who was lonely. She was a city dweller and didn’t have a car. She convinced him to drive 50 miles each way to pick her up at the bus station even though he was in his 80’s. There was another incident where she used me to travel to her friend’s place in the Catskills so she could use my car for the weekend.
She ingratiated herself to our whole family, including my two kids. If I protested about her presence in our vacation home, I was accused of being unfriendly.
She was a bit of a vagabond, living first in New York City in a sublet, then moving back to LA. She had a few different careers, none of which were terribly successful.
She began a home based cookie business in her apartment in New York City. The cookies were beautiful and delicious, but it was impossible to be profitable with only her own two hands making them. She tried to continue and grow when she moved to LA, but struggled to get the business off the ground. She took advantage of my husband’s generous nature and vast business experience to build the company. He acted as a consultant at no charge. The business reached a point where the only way it could grow was to infuse a great deal of money into it. She had none due to a life of career hopping and a failure to become educated or to put down roots.
It was 4 1/2 years ago when my husband suggested we invest in her business. The proposal was to support her while she worked to get the venture off the ground. We would be 49% shareholders in the company, ensuring a big return on our investment when the company “took off”. The long range plan was to sell the product in a couple years time to a big corporation for a few million dollars. My reaction to this proposal was that it was not a good idea. My reasoning was based on 3 facts I intuitively knew about her:
She wasn’t really smart.
She wasn’t educated.
She had no real experience in business.
It was completely against my advice and wishes that my husband proceeded with this plan. I ended up getting behind the idea once it was done as I thought I could use my education and experience to help things to go well.
To say they had a rocky start would be an understatement. It was 2 very strong personalities clashing over an emotional process of trying to build a dream business.
They did launch the product eventually with limited success. I carefully monitored the financial outlays as we went along. I was often accused of being negative when I questioned the necessity of what we were spending to keep her afloat. It was a very significant investment. I kept myself informed about the operations. There were frequent conflicts of opinions between my husband and the partner. It was so clear she was taking advantage of us. She had no problem racking up debts in my husband’s name since she really had no credit of her own.
The attempt at venturing into the super risky and competitive food business only resulted in a great deal of conflict between me and my husband, my husband and his good friend, as well as between me and this woman whom I had become surface friends with over the years through osmosis. I never trusted her.
My husband asked me to meet with her at the end of 2016 to review her request for more funding based on her progress and outlook for her business. I had been dead set against giving her any more of our money for quite some time.
We had lunch together and I listened to all of her effusive ideas. When I suggested she had been taking advantage of us for years, she was appalled. It was her impression that we were the greatest of friends. At one point she asked me point blank if I really believed that. I looked her straight in the eye, and said: “Yes, I do”.
I asked my attorney to draw up an agreement between me and my husband stating that we would put no more marital funds into this business since we separated after he began this undertaking. Just in case the business did take off, I had it put into writing that I would be entitled to half of the proceeds of sale.
My husband violated this agreement and continued to fund her operations through part of 2017.The business limped along. I monitored our outlays and was constantly accused of being negative if I questioned how things were going. I was sure we were wasting our time, money and energy on this. I felt my husband’s time, money and energy would be better spent on his other, successful business.
In March of 2018 I noticed $15,000 had been transferred from our savings account into the cookie business account. My husband told me it was a loan that would be paid in 3 weeks in 3 equal installments.
He put $5,000 back into our account in a week, and when I reminded him to take the second installment a week later, he replied that they were having trouble and it would take a little longer than expected to repay the loan. Hmmm.
I looked at the account myself the following week and noticed there was enough there to pay the entire amount. I transferred $5,000 and planned to take the rest in a few days. I texted my husband that I had done this.
Two days passed and he called me and asked if I had done anything further to the account. I reiterated that I had only transferred the $5,000, and nothing else. He told me that the account had been drawn down to zero. I suggested he follow up with the bank because I had no idea what was going on.
When he went to the bank he found that our partner had transferred the remaining funds to a new account she had opened in the business name with only her signature and access. She failed to return phone calls or respond to text messages. It was a bit of a shock, but not totally.
In conversations with my husband about what, if anything, we should do, we decided to write it off and chalk it up as a very expensive lesson. She has no assets that we could possibly recover in a legal proceeding. My husband actually said “I should have listened to you in the first place”. I asked him to repeat that slowly and suggested he never doubt me again. It might be nice of her to explain why she betrayed our trust, but my original, intuitive sense about her says it all.
I could recount many instances of my intuition being 100% accurate as it was in the cookie business example.
There was another notable example going back to when we were newlyweds. My brother in law had been dating various women and had a short term relationship with one in particular for about 6 months. She seemed nice enough, but they broke up because he was restless. When he wanted to introduce us to his newest girlfriend, we were curious to meet her.
We invited them to our house for dinner. She looked like a regular woman, was reasonably attractive, well spoken, and seemed quite intelligent.
They spent several hours at our house having dinner and drinks. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly rubbed me the wrong way about her, but I got that vibe. Something about her energy field was just so off in a way that was hard to describe.
When they left, my words to my husband were thus: “I think your brother should run fast and far from that woman”. He was perplexed. She seemed nice enough. They dated for a few years, and ended up getting married and having two children.
Without exception, friends and relatives who met her asked us “What is up with her?” An aunt of my husband’s described her as “subversive”. Another intuitive hit.
The marriage lasted 15 years until she expanded her sphere of infidelity to include a much older man in another state while her kids were 1 and 3 years old. She thought she would marry this man and take her kids to live with him.
It was a sad end to the marriage as my brother in law gradually uncovered the truth about their years together. She had never been faithful over the course of the relationship. His friends had been telling him about her exploits for years, but it wasn’t until her affair with the man in Michigan who was 30 years older that he had enough and ended it. He was heartbroken and devastated.
I was not glad to be so accurate with my intuition in either of these stories, but the outcome in both examples has reinforced my confidence in always trusting my “female intuition”.