What You Tell Yourself Matters
I have a very uncooperative body. The right half is strong and coordinated, the left half is weak and spastic. I often curse and swear out loud in frustration about my inability to do things such as opening a jar, for example. 20 years ago, I was an athlete. Today, I limp and carry a cane. I fight with my left arm all day long to make it do what I need.
Most of the time, I keep my inner dialogue in my head. #$%*#$! Motherfucker. I often feel the need to talk to my body into working correctly, or at least at a functional level.
I was at a concert in a church 3 weeks ago. The rest rooms were down a long flight of stairs. I was tired on the way up the stairs, and kept talking to myself about how it sucked. I was unaware of people coming up behind me as I spoke out loud about my discomfort. “Motherfucker, fuckin shit!” I was frustrated and I didn’t care who heard me.
I was mumbling out loud today about how much I think a certain person is a jerk. It just kept coming up and out. I knew this was creating negative energy so I decided to shift the dialogue toward how great I was doing today by getting so much done before a surgical procedure at the end of the week with 2 weeks to go until Christmas.
I needed to pack up a package to be shipped using a tape gun. This is nearly impossible to do using only one hand. I used my willing right hand to work the tape gun and struggled to hold the box steady to tape the flaps shut with my wayward left arm and the rest of my body. It wasn’t pretty, but I kept telling myself “Don’t give up. Don’t give up.” Time was of the essence to get the box shipped as it was something I sold online on a website that expects sales to be shipped within one day. I fleetingly thought about letting it sit until my son got home from work to do it. I kept repeating to myself, “Don’t give up” until it was finished. I was inspired to keep talking myself into doing what needs to get done.
Don’t give up.
Thank you for reading:)