My grandmother used to say, “Men are only interested in one thing”. She was a pioneer as a single mother in the world of dating. She was divorced in the 1930’s at a time when this was the exception, not the norm. She had 2 young daughters, and had to work full time. She lived in Brooklyn, NY and commuted to Ellis Island for work. This was during a time before there were many support systems for women like her such as child care at places of employment.
Dating was another challenge as far as finding babysitters and maintaining a level of propriety in society and in the eyes of family. It was considered unseemly to involve strange men with your children much more so than it is today. Still, she dated. She had what were known as “gentleman callers” without any digital interaction. No internet dating, texting, dick pictures, selfies, social media and the likes of what we deal with today.There was a telephone down the hall in the apartment building that was shared with the other tenants.
I remember hearing stories about grandma’s gentleman callers. In particular, I recall her telling me that they were only interested in one thing. She finally met and married another man about 40 years after her divorce. Sadly, he passed away 6 months after they married.
I began dating after my long marriage ended in 2015. The world has changed a great deal since grandma’s days. While her statement about men may have been an exaggeration based on her experience with the evolutionary biology that causes them to perhaps be more sexually aggressive than women, I often thought that she was just jaded and old fashioned.
My experience in the new digital world of dating has at times led me to believe that grandma was right. For example, there is no shortage of men who will send an overtly sexual message as a first contact on a dating site. I recently interacted with a man who was clearly interested in only one thing. He told me I had an uncanny sexual radiance in my profile photos. As a writer, I gave him some points for originality and eloquence. Maybe grandma wasn’t jaded and old fashioned after all. Maybe that’s where I got my uncanny sexual radiance.
Thank you for reading :)