Sinclair and I connected on OKCupid within a few months after my husband and I separated. The website seemed to think we were a good match. His profile kept showing up in my list of matches. He was good looking enough, and his profile was well written. Online dating seems to be one area of life where potential can actually mean something. I scrolled through his answers to the questions online. We supposedly matched at 89% whatever that means. I think it was the fact that his profile never disappeared from my radar that led to that first meeting near him for dinner. Of course, we sent messages through the website and texted before we met IRL.
I was dating Charlie who was “polyamorous” and convinced me that I should be, too. After almost 40 years with one man, I decided to give it a try. Charlie and I had a good relationship. He was an alcoholic which I suppose woud be a deal breaker for me now, but that was when I was new at all of this. He knew I was dating new men all the time, but I had yet to be intimate with anyone else.
It was clear from Sinclair’s profile that he was a professional photographer. He showed up for our first date with his camera and a huge lens. The date went as well as any. We were both good conversationalists. He was appalled to hear that I was dating an alcoholic. He had been married to one who was abusive. He had trouble understanding why I was planning to stay separated from and not divorce my husband. He shared quite a bit about his troubled childhood. At the end of dinner, I couldn’t help but ask if he wanted to take my photo. I was certainly curious to see what he could do. I looked “first date great” with perfect hair and make up. He had mentioned he thought I was beautiful during dinner with regard to his concern about such a beautiful woman being involved with an alcoholic. Are only unattractive women supposed to go out with them?
It was several more weeks of texting before the digital image of that photo showed up in my email box. It was beautiful. It became my profile photo on OKCupid.
For our next date, Sinclair traveled to the barn where I take horseback riding lessons. He brought his camera and planned to shoot my lesson. Unfortunately, he arrived at the end of the class so all we did was go in the barn to give the horses apples. He shot several photos of the horses around the barn, and quite a few of me with Waverly, the horse I had won champion on at the horse shows. I had had a rich working relationship with Waverly for years.
The relationship with Sinclair gradually became more intimate. Charlie became jealous, but he had to deal with it as part of his polyamory game.
Sinclair and I didn’t see each other often because we live an hour apart, and his job as superintendent of his building didn’t lend itself to being away. He cooked and baked for me, we got stoned and drunk together, we listened to music, and had some good sex. There were very few traditional dates. I suppose if there had been a deeper connection, the distance wouldn’t have mattered. In the end, he literally ghosted me after I invited him to come spend a night in my home. Never responded.
I had a lot of fun with Sinclair. I was a bit disappointed when I never heard from him again. I have chalked it all up to lessons learned and fun times had. No matter, I got some excellent images of myself that I have used on social media. I never got around to posing nude for Sinclair, and in hindsight I think it’s fortunate that I did not although we had talked about it. I printed and mounted a shot with Waverly that deeply conveys the connection between me and my horse. It sits on my dresser in my room. At least I got some good souvenirs from this affair. I guess he did, too.