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Please Don’t Show Me Their Photo Until After the Second Date

Online dating apps may lead to an acceleration of relationships in our minds

I recently took my annual trip with my brother who happens to be gay. He frequently trolls for dates on his smartphone. He showed me many profiles per day of men he was connecting with. He often seemed excited. It was funny because he was not actually meeting any of them. I think he even showed me one dick pic because, you know, men.

By the end of the week, I asked him to not show me pictures until after the second date with someone. It is common to get excited by a photo and an online conversation. Potential matches can seem perfect for us before we’ve met them.

Some months before our trip, I had been texting my brother screenshots of online dating profiles because they seemed like they were great. It was he who originated the phrase “Don’t send me anyone’s picture until after the second date.”.

It takes a lot of energy to get to a second date with someone you meet online. Both my brother and I along with hordes of single people have thought we found someone wonderful based on a profile. From there, it more often than not doesn’t go any further as people seem hot to trot, but when push comes to shove, it might seem like too much of a commitment to meet. Meeting for a first date can seem more like going on an interview. If we get to a second date, maybe then can we have a sense of what kind of match they might be, and we should tell our brother or sister about them or send a photo.