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My Perfect Response To My Husband’s Justification for his Behavior in Therapy

Even the therapist backed me up

Victoria Ponte
3 min readJan 14, 2020

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We often think of the perfect thing we should have said after the moment has passed. We later ruminate and think of what the best response would have been. I once came out with the quintessential reply to something my husband said in marriage counseling that was particularly offensive. It was 2 perfect words.

I was upset about how often my husband went on trips by himself. He was in the process of planning a trip to Macchu Picchu which meant he would miss our son’s middle school graduation. He had the handy excuse of my being disabled for traveling without me.

My disability imposed further hardship on me being left alone so much to take care of our two children my myself. But he didn’t care. Being married can be hard.

When I said I thought he was being selfish, the therapist pointed out that sometimes people do selfish things. I could accept this as part of the extensive compromises that are necessary to keep a marriage together. Maybe someday I would be the one doing something selfish. Or was not wanting my husband to go away a few times a year by himself selfish on my part?

As I complained about how the frequency and length of his trips seemed to be…

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Victoria Ponte
Victoria Ponte

Written by Victoria Ponte

Writing to share wonder, gratitude and a sense of humor. Poetry, life lessons, survivor https://www.youtube.com/@victoriaponteagain?sub_confirmation=1

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