Member-only story
My Faux Sex Waiver
You have to sign on the dotted line if you want to get busy with me
I have a movement disorder due to a stroke 20 years ago. This makes certain activities risky. My balance is poor, and I can’t always control what my arms and legs are doing. But this doesn’t stop me from enjoying life. I ride horses regularly where there is a release of liability prominently displayed due to the inherent risk of injury or death associated with the activity. Since I also enjoy regular sex, I thought I should post a similar release for this activity with me which can pose certain hazards.
I can’t promise you won’t die from hopping in bed with me, but if you do, that’s on you and your responsibility to manage your own health risks. There may be less serious adverse events, however.
Standing activity will always carry a fall risk. If we are prone, lack of motor control might lead to falling from the height of the bed. There is no guarantee I won’t break your heart if you develop heartsickness. There is no known cure for this. You must agree to hold me harmless in the event your heart is shattered.
What Is A Release Of Liability?
A release of liability is used in many different scenarios, such as sporting events, organized trips, or other risky activities. This agreement dictates that the party participating will not hold the organization responsible for things like personal injury, death, or loss of property.
Affairs of love and sex carry inherent risks. With the added danger of my disability, I have to protect myself from liability by asking partners to sign my waiver.
