Giorgio Trovato for Unsplash

Money For Nothing

Being a Disabled Mom

According to the website https://www.accessliving.org/newsroom/blog/ableism-101/:

Ableism is the discrimination of and social prejudice against people with disabilities based on the belief that typical abilities are superior. At its heart, ableism is rooted in the assumption that disabled people require ‘fixing’ and defines people by their disability. Like racism and sexism, ableism classifies entire groups of people as ‘less than,’ and includes harmful stereotypes, misconceptions, and generalizations of people with disabilities.

In the 21 years I have had a movement disorder because of a stroke, I have been dealing with various forms of ableism. Perhaps the most painful form has been being treated as “less than” by my own family. My husband resisted adapting to life with my disability and moved out five years ago. But in the 16 years we were together following the stroke, he modeled disrespect for me to our sons who now continue to treat me that way.

I relate deeply to this story by Maria Palacios from the Disabled Parenting Project’s website where she describes feeling like a shadow while others cared for her young children:

https://disabledparenting.com/ableism-and-parenting/#:~:text=Ableism%20is%20real.%20Ableism%20is%20painful.%20Yet%2C%20for,our%20children%20and%20the%20wa…