Keep Right for Sexual Attention

This is about yet another quirk to having a disability as described here:

The question of which side of the bed is preferred is a common enough query in any new sexual relationship. I suppose most of us have a preference based on old habits, proximity to the bathroom, door or window.

I slept on the left side of the bed for the duration of my marriage. I became accustomed to it over many years. I naturally get in bed on that side.

Usually, this is not an issue. Until one man asked me if it mattered which side of the bed he should take. I do have a visible disability so this was a reasonable question since we didn’t know each other really well and he had no way to know if I had any specific limitations in this department. My answer was totally honest: “It doesn’t matter that much to me, but if you want to be touched in any meaningful way, I suggest you stay on my right side”. This is because my left hand is nearly nonfunctional due to a stroke almost 20 years ago.

It can become embarrassing and awkward to have to explain the peculiar ways my body does and doesn’t work to new people that I meet. I am so accustomed to my unique quirkiness that it’s easy to forget that it’s all new to strangers.

Over time, a lover will naturally adapt to my idiosyncrasies. It happens without too much thinking. Add “going to bed with someone new” to the list of things you would never think of with regard to adapting to life as a disabled person.

Thank you for reading:)

Young stroke survivor, mother, champion equestrian, tambourine player, storyteller,

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