“It’s None of my Business, I Don’t Know, and I Don’t Care”
Moving towards emotional neutrality
New Year’s Eve is approaching. I don’t much care what I do on New Year’s. My estranged husband and I have been sharing what was our vacation home now for 3 years since he moved in there as many years ago. It’s challenging. My boyfriend and I were there last year for New Year’s combined with his birthday on December 29th.
My husband was quick to remind me recently that “he has the place this year for New Year’s”. I imagined he plans to have a party with his new girlfriend and their friends there. I celebrated New Year’s Eve with him continuosly from 1980 through 2015. That’s a lifetime if you haven’t done the math yourself already.
The transition from being married for 28 years to being separated has not been very smooth or easy for me. I know what all of the conventional wisdom is here: don’t look back, keep moving forward, you do you, yada, yada. I’m doing all of that.
Learning that my husband is sneaky and selfish makes it easier to let him go. I’ll be honest here though and say that watching him skip along with someone new just sucks. She won’t get 40 years to learn what he’s made of so they’ll have a great time.
I won’t be alone on New Year’s Eve, but I won’t be at the cabin with my boyfriend. It’s likely that my husband is having a party there with his girlfriend.
My mother asked tonight if my husband is having a New Year’s party. I very honestly and proudly gave her the reply in the title. It’s all true.
Thank you for reading:)
