I Was Much Nicer To My Husband’s Girlfriend on Christmas Eve This Year
The day before Christmas Eve, my estranged husband texted me and asked if I could please try really hard to be nice to his girlfriend at his brother’s party that night. The message came amid my much calmer approach to this awkward gathering than I’d had the year before when I was perhaps a little rude. Unlike last year, I was not scheming to make anyone more uncomfortable than necessary.
Of course I was insulted that he would imply I had been anything but nice the year before. Rather than text back, I called him and asked what he meant. He recounted the things I said and did last year that were definitely done to try to make her uncomfortable being at a party with her boyfriend’s wife. I glared at her. I told them both they made such a cute couple.
I like to think I am a different person than I was a year ago. I know I have accepted that my husband is very much involved with someone else a year later.
I told him I would try, but was insulted he called me mean. I know my daily meditation practice has made me a more peaceful person who can stay in the moment.
I felt I had been pigeonholed as being a mean person, so no matter how I looked at her or whatever I said it would be construed as nasty. Deep breaths.
When I walked into the party with my boyfriend, I saw my husband and his girlfriend in the kitchen. I smiled. I gave her a kiss and wished her a Merry Christmas. I fist bumped my husband and made a remark about wanting to avoid spreading germs. I felt no need to hug or kiss him. She told me he is very germy. Giggles all around.
I did not glare at her all night. I made super polite, relevant conversation with her about her kids and her new house. It was easy. This woman had nothing to do with my husband deciding he didn’t want to be with me anymore.
When my estranged husband came to the house the next day for Christmas, he thanked me for being so nice to his girlfriend at the party.
I know my meditation practice played a large part in making me calmer this Christmas. I have also had another year to better adjust to my modern family situation.