Member-only story
I Just Have To Make It To Candle Time
My latest coping strategy
The battle begins the minute my feet hit the floor each morning. I instantly have to figure out how to get through the day in my broken body. Each day for the last 20 years, I’ve lived with a movement disorder that causes constant pain and difficulty moving.
It was a severe stroke on Valentine’s Day in 1999 that wreaked havoc on my central nervous system. Having brain damage is like having a faulty electrical system in a house. Like constant short circuits where your muscles do not get the proper signals to contract and relax.
When my feet hit the floor, my left foot won’t flex when I walk because it is paralyzed. Later in the day, I wear a brace or a stimulator to help my foot either stay flexed or move while I walk. But it drags for those first few steps.
My shoulder hurts because those muscles have not stopped contracting in 20 years due to the faulty wiring. My arm flails around for the same reason. My left hand is nearly useless. I carry a cane in my right hand to help with balance. So I’m constantly looking for resting places for it when I need to use my functioning hand.
It’s easy to imagine how challenging it is to get through the day in a body that won’t cooperate.
