I Ignored a Red Flag
We see what we want to see when we’re dating
I shouldn’t have been surprised when the deal breaker broke. I had more than one clue before I met him that he was weird, but I ignored them because he checked so many other boxes.
He was educated, professional, good looking and single. The fact that he wrote erotica sounded attractive at first. He was a writer.
Ken and I connected on OKCupid. He stated in his profile somewhere that he wasn’t into Vanilla sex. Ok, I thought, maybe he’s a little kinky; I have an open mind.
We chatted quite a bit through the app and through texting before we decided to meet. He mentioned he had been a member of Fetlife. I didn’t know what that was. Here’s what I found out:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
FetLife is a social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink. On its homepage, FetLife describes itself as, "Like Facebook, but run by kinksters like you and me." FetLife distinguishes itself from competitors by emphasizing itself as a social network rather than a dating site.[1]
I don’t consider myself a kinky person. I wasn’t sure what was in my dating profile that matched me with Ken or seemed to attract him.
