He Never Liked Lingerie
When I first saw short lengths of rope in the nightstand drawer, I thought, “No, he’s not into bondage. That’s not what it’s for.” I looked again this past weekend and saw blindfolds, feathers, and rope in with the box of condoms. Then I thought, “Don’t be stupid, of course that’s what they’ve been doing.”
I shouldn’t snoop. I can’t help it. It has been tricky to share our homes since getting separated three years ago. He moved into what was our vacation home that we shared for 14 years as husband and wife. We were both moved in. I have since been relegated to a tiny section of the closet, one drawer in the dresser, and having to keep my toiletries and most belongings out of sight in the master bathroom. I can tell he tries to make it appear that he lives there alone. But facts are stubborn things. We are still married and as such, I own half of his house. It was jarring to find his girlfriend’s toiletries in what was my bathroom for so many years. I asked him to ask her to kindly bring her things home with her after she spends the weekend. I know he has the right to live as if he is alone. He just has to do it while he shares the house with me.
Two weeks ago I noticed a drawer of the dresser had been emptied. I remembered it had been my pajama drawer. I wondered why it was empty and quickly assumed it would be for his girlfriend’s use. Surely he wasn’t making room for my things. By law, no one else is allowed to take up residence in my home without my permission.
I looked again this past weekend in what was the empty drawer. I found a full ensemble of all black lingerie. There was a black lace cape, nightgown, bra, thigh high stockings, a thong, and arm length gloves. When we were married, my husband never liked lingerie and did his best to make me feel foolish for trying to revive our sexless marriage by wearing it. He would flatly tell me he didn’t like lingerie and spurn my advances. I suppose he has had a change of heart. I once read somewhere that men tend to become kinkier as they get older because they fear they are going to miss something.
Of course I couldn’t leave the things I found untouched. I added a dress of mine that came out of the closet to the lingerie drawer, and a pair of handcuffs our kids used to play with to the nightstand drawer. I successfully fought the urge to hang the lingerie from the chandelier in the dining room.
I suppose it will be an ongoing trick to mind my own business as long as I spend every other weekend in what has become my estranged husband’s house.
Thank you for reading :)