Both of Us Were Nearly Dead; What Is There To Be Stressed Out About?
My mother just called. She said, “I’m very stressed out.” I got very concerned, thinking the worst. Did she fall? Was she sick? I am planning to take her to a luxury, destination spa today for two days for Mother’s Day.
I said, “Why, did something happen?”
“No, I just haven’t gone anywhere.”
“That’s not true. We went to Uncle Nick’s funeral and we stayed in the Hampton Inn, don’t you remember? This is going to be a lot more fun. Don’t forget your glasses, hearing aids, medicine, and bathing suit and everthing will be fine.”
“How am I going to take my makeup off?”
“Don’t wear make up.”
“Too late. I already put it on.”
“I’m sure we can figure it out. Bring make up remover.”
In the weeks of planning this two day trip, my 85 year old mother has thought of everything that might go wrong. She isn’t sure she will be able to go in the water. I suggested she waits to see how she feels instead of worrying about it. She’s concerned her Crohns disease will keep her in the bathroom for an hour in the morning. I remind her there are bathrooms everywhere, and I won’t care if I have to wait. There will also be maid service. She worried about the expense of it all. I reminded her it is not a problem.
I started to plan this trip upon learning that my mother’s cancer was in remission. I have personally been all about squeezing every last drop out of life since I nearly lost mine in 1999 from a stroke at age 35. I am fortunate in that I have been financially secure from investments I made when I was young. I never lost sight of the fact that I am lucky to simply be alive, walking, talking and thinking.
Try as I might to impart this attitude of gratitude on my mother, who was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer at age 83, underwent 20 rounds of chemo, lived through major abdominal surgery, lost her hair, lost weight, but regained her health in the end, she still likes to find things to complain about. I get that being 85 years old is in itself a challenge. But I also believe in not giving up living until we are actually dead.
Mom is also worried about traveling with me because of my disability. I may not be able to physically assist her with certain things. I am reminded of this story:
I may lack physical ability, but I am still able to think appropriately and respond to an emergency. The important thing is I have figured out how to be fully alive in the face of adversity.
I’m sure once I get Mom to the spa, she will love it. I’m excited that I get to spend more quality time with my mom. Stay tuned…
Thank you for reading :)