This story is about all manner of men who live alone for whatever reason. The traditional definition of bachelor is commonly held to be men who have never married. I’ll include them here, too. I hail from a traditional, 2 parent home which partly explains my slightly skewed perspective. I grew up with mom and dad. Mom kept house, put food on the table, worked off and on, and dad worked full time. Men who live alone and handle all of that are on their own are a bit of a curiosity. I suppose I judge them when I see the way they keep house.
My exposure to men who live alone and their quirkiness began when I started online dating at age 52 after my 36 year relationship, and 28 year marriage, ended in separation.
I don’t sleep around. I have spent the night in more than one bed, not my own, over the past three years after getting separated. I think a man’s bed and the way he keeps it can be fairly reliable bellwethers in terms of what we’re in for with a man we have started dating.
My first foray into a new man’s bedroom was a perfect example. He was a long term alcoholic whose life was rather chaotic because of his drinking. I knew I had lived a sheltered life by only being with one man for my entire adult life. Still, I was shocked to see Winnie the Pooh sheets on a grown man’s bed. There was a chaotic reason for him not having sheets for adults. The floor was covered with clothing and other personal debris. The relationship was fun for a good while, but ended after a failed attempt to stay sober.
I met another guy during this period who very neatly made his bed every day upon waking with tasteful quilts and throw pillows. He was an artist and a photographer. His place reflected his artistic flair. Our time together was sporadic. It ended when he ghosted me.
I met a true bachelor who, at 58, had never married. He has always lived alone. He never makes his bed using a kid’s logic of “why make the bed if you’re just going to get in it again?” When I asked him once if he wouldn’t just make his bed because he knew I was coming over, his reply was “No, that would be fake”. It was in this same guy’s house where thick dust covered everything. I wouldn’t sit on the dark leather sofa because the dust was so thick. He told me he never dusts. This has been a deeply shallow relationship. But, he is always honest about his intentions as am I so no one is misled.
I have come across a couple of guys who make their beds, and keep a fairly clean home.
Here is a compelling speech about why making your bed is important guys:
I have encountered an interesting mix of bachelor’s kitchen management habits, as well. Chaotic, alcoholic with the winnie the pooh sheets was fond of processed foods at home and often ate in restaurants. He saw no issue whatsoever with serving a nice Italian girl like me pasta with sauce from a jar. True bachelor with the perpetually unmade bed didn’t keep coffee in his house, driving out to Dunkin Donuts to get us some when I came over.
I’ve been steadily dating one man for a year now. He was married and divorced twice, and has lived alone off and on for many years. He, too, has some interesting dinner ideas. I see absolutely nothing wrong with having breakfast for dinner and do it myself on occasion. I did find it funny the last time I asked him what he had for dinner and he said “Scrambled eggs and cheese and crackers”. If we’re adding hors d’oeuvres to the breakfast for dinner repertoire, the possibilities are endless.
Thank you for reading. :)